How Understanding Projection Changed My Work Life

For years, I used to take every piece of feedback at face value. If someone came at me with sharp words or frustration, I assumed it was because of me... I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t leading enough, wasn’t “good enough.” That not enough mindset left me drained, defensive, and honestly not the best collaborator.

Then I learned about projection.

Projection is when someone takes their own discomfort, fear, or insecurity and unconsciously places it onto another person. The moment I understood this, it completely shifted how I show up at work.

Instead of reacting emotionally to feedback or tension, I pause. I ask myself: Is this about me or is this about them? That simple question helps me respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness.

Here’s the most important part: realizing that projection exists doesn’t give me a free pass. In fact, it’s made me more accountable than ever. I don’t dismiss feedback just because it’s uncomfortable.

Instead, I look at it from both angles:

• What’s mine to own and improve?

• What belongs to the other person?

  
  

That balance has helped me grow as a collaborator and as a leader. I no longer spiral when feedback feels harsh. I evaluate it, learn from it, and then keep moving forward. And when everyone in a workplace does their own inner work, collaboration becomes not just easier but energizing.

Three Tips to Recognize When Feedback Is Productive

If you want to sort out projection from constructive input, here are three ways to know you’re receiving feedback that can actually help you grow:

1. It’s specific. Productive feedback points to behaviors, not vague criticisms.

2. It’s actionable. You walk away knowing what you can change or improve.

3. It’s given with care. Even tough feedback can be delivered respectfully and with the intent to build, not tear down.

When feedback checks those boxes, lean in... it’s a gift.

If you’re ready to build a stronger, more collaborative team that understands these dynamics, let’s talk. I offer workshops where we explore concepts like projection, accountability, and communication strategies that transform how teams work together.

Contact me at halliepeavey@gmail.com to bring this workshop to your organization.